Christianity and BDSM
Even with all the fun, fucked up kinky shit I’ve done the one story that consistently surprises people is that I’m Christian. Yep, you read that right. I’m a Christian Dominatrix.
I’ve always found it so curious that amongst friends we are so ready to share and admit stories of debauchery but demure when it’s about faith. No one bats an eye (that much) if I were to tell a story about using a metal anal hook on my beloved Petrick. However, people get wide-eyed shocked when I’ve said that I can’t go to the after party following clubbing because I have church the next day.
Before I get too much further, I feel the need to say that there’s no religious agenda here. This isn’t an article proselytizing my faith in a bid to convert anyone. This is simply me sharing my experience. For some people, a large part of what makes them them is their faith. I happen to be one of those people.
The first question everyone who knows I’m a Dominatrix asks after learning I’m a Christian is: So how does that work with being a Dominatrix?
Quite well actually.
In my belief system, God is the ultimate judge of my actions. When your utmost concern is what your deity thinks about you, you give zero fucking fucks about what mere mortals think. I don’t get a check in my soul when I slap people in the face for fun. So I don’t feel bad about it. I don’t get a check in my soul when I stick my hand up someone’s ass. So I don’t feel bad about it. I’m not sadistic and Dominant DESPITE being Christian. I’m as sadistic and Dominant as I am BECAUSE I’m a Christian.
I excel at being a Dominatrix because I’m Christian.
::pauses to let readers pick their jaws up off the floor::
Conversely, the first question everyone who knows I’m Christian asks after learning I’m a Dominatrix is: So how does that work with being a Christian?
Same answer. Quite well actually.
It’s one thing to profess a faith when you are amongst like-minded people in a religious setting. It’s another thing entirely to say that you are Christian sitting in your underwear in a BDSM dungeon in San Francisco or knocking back beers in a girlie bar in the red light district of Manila. Both are true stories. I’m confident in my identity as a Christian because I give zero fucks who knows and I will share this at any time, anywhere.
Being a known Dominatrix allows me to speak the word Christian without irony or disdain to people who would otherwise roll their eyes. People who have been shamed, shunned, and scorned by religious figures in their lives. Often the their own family, sometimes with devastating consequences. There is a torn pain I can read in the faces of those who were raised religious but feel they have failed their faith/deity with their life choices and life “choices”. I started sharing who I am because I try to be as honest AF. I continued to share because every once in a while I saw a small relief when I shared my story, regardless of religion.
They are able to envision a version of themselves that practices both their consensual alternative lifestyle and faith when they never could before.
A few years ago I was invited to a non-Easter dinner happening on Easter Sunday. It was hosted by my lovely goth club friends who were themselves kinksters. It was open to anyone who didn’t have family nearby to dinner with on Easter (myself) or those who didn’t want to spend Easter with their family for whatever reason. The invitation was open to all of their friends so most faces in attendance were new to me. My friends were open about their lifestyle so it was no big deal to be frank about being a Dominatrix.
While we were getting to know each other better we shared how we had spent our long weekend. Answers varied from home repairs, laundry, BBQs, and just plain hanging out at home. Mine was going on a date Friday night, getting drunk at my favourite gay club Saturday night and attending church Sunday morning. One woman was very curious after making the connection that I was a church-going Dominatrix. She asked how that worked, what I specifically believed in (I share this in person), then asked which church I attended and the atmosphere of my church. After these questions she shared a very personal and traumatic story of why she stopped attending church years prior. It is not my story to share but it boiled down to not feeling good enough to attend church. People in her life, including immediate family, had branded her as a fallen woman to be looked down upon and she took it to heart. These were people who identified as Christians. This was a woman who wanted to interact with her faith but felt she wasn’t worthy to do so.
Afterwards I asked if she’d like to go to church with me sometime. We ended up going together that next Sunday and many Sundays after that. She didn’t accept simply because someone asked. She’d been asked many times by her family. She accepted my invitation because I was a Christian Dominatrix.
When a person who has stopped practicing their religion but still believes learns that Domina Chase is a dedicated and practicing Christian, it’s as if they ask themselves, “If DC can be a Christian maybe I can practice my religion too?” I joke that it’s because if I can enter a church and not be struck down with lightning, they’re totally safe! In seriousness, I feel like I become a preview of how things could be for them. They are able to envision a version of themselves that practices both their consensual alternative lifestyle and faith when they never could before.
Humanistic BDSM, my personal brand of BDSM, is predicated on the idea of human beings reaching their full potential. How can you reach your full potential if you deny your own beliefs?
Apparently I lied. I do have a religious agenda. My agenda is to normalize all walks of faith and spirituality in BDSM. Radical normalization and inclusiveness in Humanistic BDSM isn’t only about practices, genders, and orientations. It’s about normalising everything that makes you you. And while other religions or no religion at all might be what makes up a part of someone else, for me that including being a Christian.
If you are religious, how do you reconcile the dogma of your faith with your lifestyle? Do you see any conflict between them to resolve? Tell us in the comments or join our Facebook group Humanistic BDSM: Inclusive AF Kink.
Image courtesy of Engin_Akyurt (pixabay.com) https://www.needpix.com/photo/943578/rope-model-exposure-hands-bondage-freedom-passion-fiction-people
Did you enjoy this article? Do you want to help support our website so that we can continue to create free educational content? Do you want access to a private BDSM Discord server, videos from Domina Chase and Petrick, and other exclusive content? Then please consider supporting us on Patreon. Tiers start at just $1.00!
