Humanistic BDSM: Play Inclusive AS F*CK

So what the fuck is Humanistic BDSM (HuBDSM) anyway? Sounds made up, right? That’s because it is ;)

HuBDSM a term that I coined for my philosophy towards BDSM that I teach and practice. Upon introspection I realised that the psychological perspective of Humanistic Psychology that I ascribed to when I was studying Behavioural Science is how I approached BDSM. The formation of HuBDSM was born out of a reaction to the pointed lack of diversity and inclusivity in online BDSM resources including blogs and groups. If I as a cisgender heterosexual woman was alarmed about the overwhelming cis-gender heteronormative dialogue, what more individuals who were excluded?

*cue Shakespearean dramatic voice*

If you hit a non-binary person, do they still not cry?

If you cut a neurodiverse person, do they still not bleed?

Going back to a little bit of history, Humanistic Psychology is often referred to as Humanism which I will use from now on (cuz it’s shorter!). It is one of several psychological perspectives, the most famous perspective being psychoanalysis a la Freud. A psychological perspective is an overarching philosophy that drives goals and practices in therapy.

Humanism assumes that a person is inherently good. It also “suggests that people possess personal agency and that they are motivated to use this free will to pursue things that will help them achieve their full potential as human beings. ... People are continually looking for new ways to grow, to become better, to learn new things, and to experience psychological growth and self-actualization.” (1) Well, I BDSM to grow, to become better, to learn new things, and to experience psychological growth and self-actualization. While I don’t think people are inherently good, I do believe their subjective needs for growth and self-actualization are worthwhile and valid.

Soooo... WTF is HuBDSM then? Remember how I said it’s an overarching philosophy? An example of a BDSM perspective would be Gorean BDSM which emphasizes home, caste, and order. This gave rise to certain practices that we typically associate with Gor including postures, chores, and high-protocol. An important tenant of HuBDSM is validating all forms of consensual play and encouraging play for everyone. EVERYONE. This means aggressive inclusivity of all races, genders, orientations, relationship styles, physical ability, and neurodiversity. To this end all articles and definitions will be discussed in a manner that does not assume gender and orientation unless specifically applicable to the kink. (Ball crushing generally requires balls. Generally.)

Then what would Humanistic BDSM look like? If all kinksters are “good” then their subjective needs (including limits) for growth and self-actualization are worthwhile and valid. It can call for far more discussion but yield more fulfilling scenes.

Here’s an example:

D - type player (D*) is into heavy verbal degradation and impact play
s - type player (S*) is only into light humiliation, littles play, and impact play

They could just agree to do impact play but based on what they are into it’s only partially fulfilling. So let’s delve into why they like/dislike humiliation and see if there is wiggle room.

D* likes to see the deep mental anguish displayed on another’s face. They don’t actually think poorly of people they play with but those faces are hot. Tears are extra hot.

s* likes to be teased and made fun of because it makes them feel small and helpless. They do not like degradation because of past partner abuse. Even if they know the other person doesn’t mean the degrading things said about them, it still hurts.

So in the case of #WhatWouldDC do, I would set up a scene where s*’s beloved favourite stuffy, Mr. Sprinkles, is verbally degraded by D*. D* physically punishes s* for Mr. Sprinkles’ deficits.

D*: “Mr. Sprinkles you are nothing but a fancy jizz rag stuffed with used earwax cotton. Maybe I should rip your fucking left eye off so you can be ugly-cute instead of looking like bear shaped garbage.”

Pretty sure most littles would be in despair if you spoke about their stuffy like that and it would show on their faces. There may even be tears. (2)

There you have it. Welcome to HuBDSM and possibilities it brings. Being Humanistic by valuing people doesn’t make us weaker half-assed players. It launches us to the next level.

— — —

Share below your thoughts on this! Have you accidentally Humanistic BDSM’d and didn’t know it?

You can interact directly with Domina Chase and join the conversation on Facebook by joining Humanistic BDSM: Inclusive AF Kink.

———

(1) How Humanistic Theories are Used in Psychology

(2) (Don’t worry littles out there. s* gathered their other stuffies in a circle and made a support group for Mr. Sprinkles. However, s* is worried that Mr. Sprinkles has developed a taste for degradation.)

Photo Credit: Photo cropped from original image located at https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2018_Taiwan_LGBT_Pride_by_imacat_No.33.jpg

Did you enjoy this article? Do you want to help support our website so that we can continue to create free educational content? Do you want access to a private BDSM Discord server, videos from Domina Chase and Petrick, and other exclusive content? Then please consider supporting us on Patreon. Tiers start at just $1.00!